Archive for the ‘The Imaginary New Yorker Blog’ category

James Surowiecki wonders how many banks will become insolvent.

07 May 2009

I’m thinking four… Okay, maybe not four. Maybe just three. Actually… Hmm. All of a sudden, I’m really not sure. Let’s start at the beginning. All right, Bank of America, definitely, right? They’re just a bunch of wild men over there. Okay, so that’s one. Citigroup — that bank’s gone way down in hole. Can’t [...]

George Packer quotes Irving Kristol on populism.

15 Apr 2009

“Populism? Gay.” -Irving Kristol (Actual post here)

James Surowiecki looks at the new unemployment numbers.

08 Apr 2009

Whoa! Hoppity hoppity boom boom! Chooparoo chooparee! Fraggledy smaggledy whizzerino! Gadfly pudding! Tse tse whiz-bang! Jerk chicken in a pita! I haven’t seen numbers this high since I weighed Marlon Brando! Too soon. Since I weighed William Howard Taft! Too late. Since I weighed Orson Welles! Just right. Man, these numbers are so high they [...]

Sasha Frere-Jones offers a chance to hear Catchdubs, Jubilee, and Ayres in action.

06 Apr 2009

Ha, ha, ha, okay, this isn’t actually going to be an imaginary New Yorker blog post, I just wanted to call attention to the ridiculousness of that sentence’s appearance on the Web site of the New Yorker. Love him or hate him (I do both, passionately (?)), Sasha Frere-Jones does bring the New Yorker to [...]

Hilton Als just can’t stop watching Helen Mirren in “Prime Suspect”

07 Mar 2009

I’m writing this on my iPhone. I’ve been in this room for 36 hours and I don’t see an exit. I don’t know how I got here or where I am, and I don’t know who put me in here. This room, it’s so white. So clean. I can’t breathe, it’s so white in here. [...]

James Surowiecki will not be watching Jerry Seinfeld’s new TV show

28 Feb 2009

I’m sorry, Jerry, but, much as I loved Bee Movie, I don’t have time for film and television anymore. I’m far too busy working on the project that has become my lifeblood — the Surowieckipedia. For decades, people have asked me questions about myself — how I’m doing, where I’m from, where I went to [...]

Evan Osnos discovers China’s definition of “Western food”

23 Feb 2009

Spaghetti.

Nick Paumgarten knows why New York smells like maple syrup

23 Feb 2009

I often stroll the windy canyons of Park Avenue with scarf tight, hands jammed in pockets, and winter cap secure, leaving only my nose exposed to the New York air. This, naturally, leads me to dwell upon the scents I encounter during my flâneur, and, of late, I have noticed a preponderance of maple in [...]

Steve Coll has a hunch where Osama Bin Laden is hiding

23 Feb 2009

It’s not actually a hunch. I know exactly where Osama Bin Laden is hiding. He’s under my desk. I’ve had him since August, and I was waiting for Pres. Obama to take office, just to give him a little boost to start his presidency. (Actual post (note: the title is a bit misleading, as Coll [...]

New Recurring Feature

06 Feb 2009

… In which I will read the short descriptions of the latest posts on the newyorker.com blogs and construct what I imagine said posts might say. I shall call this category of entries “The Imaginary New Yorker Blog”