Let’s discuss this, now. You’ve been hurting these past months. While I’ve been gallivanting about Europe and Africa, spending and making money, breaking and mending hearts, purchasing and consuming foodstuffs, you’ve been at home, shivering under a blanket you stole from Southwest Airlines the one time you ever flew in an airplane. The blanket doesn’t [...]
Archive for the ‘Meta’ category
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You and me
15 Dec 2009Categories: Meta
Tags: blue-footed booby, desesperado, lord of the rings, southwest airlines
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A Yellow Friend
23 Sep 2009What up, chumps. There’s no question mark because that’s not a question, it’s a greeting. As if I would care to know anything about your miserable lives. Listen. I’m thinking of turning Tin Speaker into a cooking blog, maybe calling it Tin Whisk or Tin Springform Pan or Tin Fondue Pot or something. Ever since [...]
Categories: Meta
Tags: food, muscles
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What girls say to each other about me when I eat alone in the cafeteria of my university
17 Sep 2009This one is just what the title says. Actual transcript, edited for length and clarity by Hornblower. Girl 1: Who is that guy over their eating by himself? Look at him brood. He’s probably really intellectual. Girl 2: I don’t know who he is, but I think I want to sleep with him. Girl 1: [...]
Categories: Make Believe, Meta
Tags: really?
Comments: 1 Comment
Yeah, it’s been a while. What are you going to do, complain like a little tiny four-year-old?
11 Sep 2009You and your puppy-dog eyes have no effect on me. I empathize not with your pleas and insistent cries. Be grateful for what you have had at your disposal these past few weeks: a back catalogue of exceptional beauty and wit. These are posts to savor, posts to revisit. If you have not done, you [...]
Evaluate yourself
07 Aug 2009There comes a time in every Hornblower’s life when he (there are no female Hornblowers) must examine his life, and his reasons for Web logging. I do believe that my purpose with this Web log is to convince my self that I’m really cool, while at the same time (and this is crucial) making people [...]
Categories: Meta
Tags: blog, blogging, hornblower
Comments: 1 Comment
People are talking
05 Aug 2009Readers 1 & 2 are deceased, but I happened upon some others who have gallantly taken their place. A dialogue, then. Reader One: I don’t know about these links Hornblower keeps posting. I just want to read Tin Speaker on Tin Speaker. Is that so much too ask? Reader Two: This is like the time [...]
And So, Friends, I Return
20 Jul 2009I have been negligent, I know. This causes me no shortage of distress and heartache. Believe me, gentle readers, I would like nothing more than to be able to sate your mad appetites for constant literary gratification. There is, however, an unfortunate impediment to this dreamy wonderland world: the cold iron shackles of reality. This [...]
Categories: Meta
Tags: jon chu, step up 3d, tin speaker
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Advert #3
10 Jul 2009Come on now, this one didn’t even violate any of the craigslist rules. I’m just an honest guy looking for some help, here.
Categories: Meta
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Advert #2
25 Jun 2009This is part two of my struggle against the miserable homebodies who patrol the Gigs section of craigslist. I was so enraged after being flagged for this one I almost pulled an Orlando Brown (you really should click that link if you don’t know what I’m talking about). Good thing Hornblower is wilier than that. [...]
Categories: Meta
Tags: advertising, battle, craigslist, flagging, hatred, marketing, tinspeaker
Comments: 3 Comments
Advert #1
25 Jun 2009So I’ve been working on some marketing strategies for the old Web logs. My plan hinges on the viral powers of Craigslist, and has thus far been overwhelmingly unsuccessful. For some reason, the bitter masses who peruse the Talent Gigs section of both the New York City and Hudson Valley craigslist see fit each time [...]
Categories: Meta
Tags: advertising, bull shit, bullshit, craigslist, flag, haterz, marketing, orpheus weaponry, tinspeaker
Comments: 3 Comments
