6:44 We’ve been inside for about half an hour and I’m just bodying people left and right, with no regard for safety or decency. There is an aura of despair that pervades this space and seeps through our pores and lives in our veins. There is a man in a grey suit talking all sorts of crazy jive; he’s the hypeman, and I guess it’s his responsibility to keep us entertained before the U2 get here. He asks where people are from and when someone says Sweden, he says that we can all expect massages after the show. I find it repulsive that he would traffic in such baseless stereotypes just for a laugh (which laugh, it should be noted, he did not receive). At first people were accepting of this grey suit man, but the good will evaporated somewhat quickly. It may have been that people were accepting of him when he was joking about their still being drunk and not having gone to sleep the previous night. Basically, when grey suit man stopped talking about the drunkenness of the students, he lost them.

7:00 The hosts of Good Morning America show their faces. Robin Roberts looking good. Sam Champion keeps the crowd wanting more. Savvy move. It’s worth noting, that although I’ve never seen GMA, I knew the hosts’ names, and I was really confused. I was expecting someone else to be there. And a few others, too

7:06 Boredom sets in as we realize that U2 aren’t even at Fordham yet. I’m wearing thin-soled Le Coq Sportif tennis shoes, and my toes are getting Mr Freeze’d. Be easy, Schwarzenegger — I surrender. Conversation dries up, and I take out Nine Stories and start reading A Perfect Day for Bananafish. I love pocket-sized books.

7:08 Rumours dart among the crowd like mad synapse firings. Liev Schreiber is said to be in Keating. I sold a guest pass to Fred McGriff for $493, but he avoids the usual autograph hounds by virtue of his huge sunglasses and Fordham sweatshirt.

7:10 Helicopter flies overhead. Surely it must be U2. Terrific cheer. Continues onward. Disappointment.

7:14 Sam Champion talking but aint nobody listening

7:18 The camera looks like Wall-E and it controls us
There’s a camera on the stage now.
Robin Roberts seems to be live, but I can’t hear her. I can see her, though, and that’s nice. I’m on page 7 of Bananafish

7:23 U2 have arrived on campus, per the grey suit man. Still 36 minutes until they perform, but they’re apparently going to do a sound check before that

7:27 Sam Champ comes into the crowd, and copulates with many bitches. Grey suit guy has a receding hairline, I just noticed. He says that Mario Batali is going to be here; that is news to me. I can hear a brief conversation between Robin and Sam; for some reason they are using their mics to talk to each other, though they are not on the air.

7:30 Robin says U2 will be playing three new songs on the broadcast. Groan city! Gimme some of Josh’s arbors, Hewson.

7:39 Sound guy asking for some applause, receives a bit. Sam Champion dropping some weather knowledge.

7:44 More applause-mongering. Nothing comes of it.

7:47 Jose the Sandwich Guy just wandered on stage and Sam Champion told him to cut his sandwich, God damn it.

7:50 Mario Batali just rolled up! Damn! He went into the crowd and now I don’t see him. He’s probably getting a stew going. He was a double major in Spanish Theatre and Economics, whaddaya know? I guess U2 will not be soundchecking before they go on.

7:53 Father McShane addresses the masses. Mad love for Daddy Mac. He says “Thanks to you … and U2.” Just a little rhetorical calisthenics for you, ladies and gentlemen. Gets to clappin’ a little to it. “Are they at Columbia? [No] Are they at Georgetown? [No] Are they at Notre Dame? [No] Where are they? [Fordham].” This gets us all super happy and excited. Mad love for Daddy Mac. Too bad grey suit man kills the vibe once Fr. McShane leaves the stage.

7:57 Oh what up Diane Sawyer, lookin good.

7:59 All the GMA homies are on stage now. Crowd getting hyped (no thanks to the hypeman).

8:01 Hosts talking some business. Sam Champ drops a quick tidbit — it’ll be 83 degrees in Dallas today. Thanks.

8:04 Hey U2 get on your boots and get out here, AMIRITE??

8:06 damn

First song: “Get On Your Boots” no surprise there. It’s all right, I guess. Crowd is sort of feeling it.

Bono introduces them as “a new combo from the north side of Dublin.” Oh, Bono, too precious.

Second Song: “Magnificent” It was anything but. Not really, I just wanted to say that. I guess it was pretty cool. I can’t really make value judgments on new U2 songs right away, because they’re so obviously U2 that it’s hard to think of them as brand-new entities. Also, it’s still really bizarre to me that U2 are playing right in front of me on Eddie’s Parade.

Third Song: “I’ll Go Crazy If I Don’t Go Crazy Tonight” Bono noted that they’d goten into the band to get out of university, then asked would have been Larry Mullen, Jr’s major. I said. “looking like Kevin Bacon.” Pretty hilarious. Bono thought it was really fun, at least, and he invited me up to sing on the song of my choice. I chose “Xxplosive” by Dr. Dre, and it was pretty nice. Bono did the Nate Dogg part. Bono said “Crazy Tonight” was written for and about the Fordham University campus, especially what goes on Friday nights. Not sure I’m buying it, but nice gesture, Bono. Set is finished at 8:21

8:22 Surprise appearance by Orel Hershiser, who comes in for backup vox on Pride (In The Name Of Love) (he sang the Chrissie Hynde part).

8:25 Sam again? He gets more airtime than Nate Robinson!

8:31 Mario Batali getting into some shit, I don’t even know. I wish I could see, he’s probably working wonders over there.

8:37 Setting up some interview chairs word.

8:39 The band and Robin are sitting now, looks like they’re chatting but I can’t hear a damn thing.
Maybe that wasn’t the interview[Update: It was]. Now Bono has a mic and we can hear him. Can’t hear Robin’s questions but you bet your bottom I can hear Bono’s response, whatever it is. When Mullen gets the mic, I tell him that I’m sorry about how he lost all his money to Bernie Madoff, and that I thought he was really underrated in The Woodsman. Then I told him that I was getting nasty with Sedgwick, and he got real serious, real quick!

8:50 Uh oh here comes a song people know!
Song Four: “Beautiful Day” People give mad love now. Bono brings back the old “Goal is soul” chant.

“Let’s do one more song,” Bono says, and they do, indeed, play another song.
Song Five: “Breathe” Watching the GMA hosts is even more entertaining than watching Bono do rock star things. Diane Sawyer is swaying slightly, in a strange imitation of the Terror Squad “Lean Back” dance. Sam Champ is showing his enthusiasm with the occasional hop step. Very odd. Robin manages to maintain her dignity while showing that she appreciates the music. Well done. I expect nothing less from a baseball hall-of-famer.

Song Six: “Vertigo” Here’s the big dog! Starting to actually look like a rock concert over here. When it’s over everyone throws up two fingers and chants “U2;” the chant switches to “One More Song” as the band go around posing for photos and being famous or whatever. The chant goes unrequited, however, and Father McShane returns to the stage. This is at 9:03. He’s super proud of us.

Yellowcard will support.