Archive for September 2009

These are giraffes

27 Sep 2009

Switching things up today here at Tin Speaker. Instead of a hilarious dialogue or a hilarious advertisement, I’m just going to give you a picture I took of a couple of giraffes. Think of it as a Christmas present, because you’re not going to get a real Christmas present from me.

A Yellow Friend

23 Sep 2009

What up, chumps. There’s no question mark because that’s not a question, it’s a greeting. As if I would care to know anything about your miserable lives. Listen. I’m thinking of turning Tin Speaker into a cooking blog, maybe calling it Tin Whisk or Tin Springform Pan or Tin Fondue Pot or something. Ever since [...]

The New Yorker Festival, Friday

19 Sep 2009

It’s nearly autumn again, and that means it’s nearly time for the old New Yorker Festival, every middle-aged Manhattanite couple’s favorite weekend. Since I can’t go, I’ll be living vicariously through you, genial reader. This year’s lineup is once again a cold and terrifying thing, an unapologetic cavalcade of literary luminaries that never fails to [...]

What girls say to each other about me when I eat alone in the cafeteria of my university

17 Sep 2009

This one is just what the title says. Actual transcript, edited for length and clarity by Hornblower. Girl 1: Who is that guy over their eating by himself? Look at him brood. He’s probably really intellectual. Girl 2: I don’t know who he is, but I think I want to sleep with him. Girl 1: [...]

What clarion call, um, calls? Sounds? What clarion calls? I’m not really sure what a clarion is. Okay, just looked it up: a type of trumpet used in the Middle Ages. So how’s this for a title for this post: “Wherefore sounds the clarion?”

12 Sep 2009

Last time there was a great lapse between posts here at Tin Speaker (back in the Bronze Medals days), the spark that brought me back was a thrilling new piece of technology, one destined to change forever the way we experience the world. I’m talking of course about Microsoft’s Songsmith, which has relegated Apple and [...]

Yeah, it’s been a while. What are you going to do, complain like a little tiny four-year-old?

11 Sep 2009

You and your puppy-dog eyes have no effect on me. I empathize not with your pleas and insistent cries. Be grateful for what you have had at your disposal these past few weeks: a back catalogue of exceptional beauty and wit. These are posts to savor, posts to revisit. If you have not done, you [...]


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