Sports?
For the first time, we’ll touch on the world of sports here at Tin Speaker. It’s not that I don’t like sports, it’s just that I hate America. Today I want to talk about sports. So I will. This will be a series of posts. This is just introductory.
The first topic is Usain Bolt. This guy is so fast. One time, I was driving on the Taconic State Parkway, and he ran past me. I was driving one hundred and ninety miles an hour, and he ran past me — barefoot! We’re talking about speed, here, readers. Also, there is now a warrant out for my arrest.
I think Usain Bolt should have been on the cover of TIME Magazine or Newsweek or (better yet) The Economist. Because 9.58 seconds is just such a tiny amount of time a person to be able to propel himself 100 meters forward with the aid of no apparatus but a pair of running shoes. I didn’t even know that he lowered the record again until today. That’s a disgrace to the New York Times’ email notification system. What kind of self-respecting, left-leaning rag reports on Robert Novak news but not Bolt! I care about speed, and speed only. So, from now on I only want Usain Bolt and Bryan Cranston updates.
Tags: Sports?, usain bolt
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